By Pelka Evdenic Kuzelka

The only stable thing is change… 

My idea of writing about how I started volunteering is still on its way; it is just a story now, but here will come a time when this story is told, but now a tell a different tale. 

Living in the present brings so many gifts that it can be compared to a meadow in spring, full of colors, smells, sounds, and texture, and life… just by observing it our Being is full. This is how I feel these last days, although there is also a part of my brain that feels exhausted and would love to return to the comfort of tamas (intertia), to the “dolce far niente (carefree idleness), in which I was trapped for too long, where the rule was the rule of minimum effort. 

Well, then, I officially declare that this is over!! Almost 30 years ago, having just arrived in Seville,  and entered the School of Art, thus living my dream, although I could only stammer a few Spanish words, I walked down the street and everyone smiled at me. No one knew me, but everyone had a broad smile for me. Of course, I was sure that I came to paradise on Earth with an infinity of nice people, until I realized that I was the one who wore this permanent smile on my face and that the others were my mirrors. I love this memory and I love to reproduce it everywhere! 

My first contact with yoga was at the tender age of 24 years, when my body was so well exercised that moving, I seemed to float slightly above the surface of the earth. I went without expectations (the blessing of the innocent, of children, and the Wise) because a friend invited me, and it was amazing! I was floating in my day-to-day life, no pressure, no stress, doing my tasks with passion and dedication, living each moment intensely. I went three times a week for two hours of yoga, but the feeling of well-being was permanent. After six months our yoga teacher, our yogi, returned to India to continue studying. He was replaced by someone who tried hard to copy his classes. I didn’t even last a month because the expectation had settled in me. Expectation inevitably leads to disappointment and is the curse of humanity. I became a hard judge, looking for my first yogi in all of them. For God’s sake, it was impossible for a yogi not to be like the one I had during these six months – kind, balanced, passionate about what he transmits, simple and with this peace that flooded us all! Well, no, not all of them were like that. I tried to practice yoga on my own for a few months and kept searching and trying with different teachers. 

At some point, shifting my focus to other fields in my life, I gave up on yoga. For years, I flirted occasionally with spirituality in my life, there were even some immensely important moments, like learning a sacred technique, but I didn’t break this tamas barrier in me – until three days ago, to be exact. Five days ago, I saw an ad for the Himalayan School of Traditional Yoga, and I felt, “Sign up”. My brain tried to reason, it had many arguments, practically unbeatable, but I kept with the voice inside me, which reassured me, I simply felt that this is the way I should go. I signed up without any expectations, just listening to my inner voice and remembering the sentence that captivated me: “HSTY’s training is oriented towards creating yogis, not just teachers or yoga practitioners. Yogis aim to uphold the ancient teachings and values of yoga through their own life and lead by example.” 

Now I am so blessed. I am on the shore of the Divine Love of a Tradition that does not judge me, but accepts me as I am, I am part of this vast ocean of Love and I have the free will to choose whether I prefer to stay on the shore of infinite possibilities or to dive in fully, with full presence and knowing that all is well, exactly as it is. I have taken my first step and I am already feeling the energy awakening within me. But the greatest thing is that I have found a Yogi Master. No, this time I am not making the mistake of comparing him to anyone. What I can say is that I am honoured to be his student and that this feeling brings tears of gratitude to my eyes. “Look at this window: it is nothing but a hole in the wall, but because of it the whole room is full of light. So when the faculties are empty, the heart is full of light,” said Zhuangzi. Thank you for being my window, dear Vinu. I can share this video by the grace of my teacher Yogi Vinu and by belonging to The Himalayan School of Traditional Yoga: himalayanschool.com. Enjoy it, blessing you all. Jai Mohanji!

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