“When we choose health insurance over passion, we choose survival over life.” – Charles Eisenstein
You may have concluded so far that I am not the one who chooses health insurance. Oh, I’m not like that at all! I am the one who has always known what her life purpose is. I am the one who’s always followed her passion, without hesitation and calculation. I even managed to materialize my passion by publishing my poems and novels.
So, where does, then, the feeling of failure, frustration and dissatisfaction I’ve been sensing all of my life, come from?
I’ve been feeling that I am missing something, I am persistently missing something, after all those years of searching and trying to get out of the frame in which I am, to climb a step higher, everything is the same and I am on the same page. I keep missing something…
What I’ve been missing, looking back from my current perspective, was that writing is not the ultimate goal of my soul, but a tool, a path, the very bait that is constantly pushing me one step further, to try this, to experience that, to see this, maybe ‘that something’ can help me, maybe it will be clearer… and then, when I go through the event, the thought comes to mind: Wow, how well will this be for the novel! My burning passion for writing, permanently in contrast to the everlasting struggle for a decent existence and dependence from others, with my character which does not respect authority, it was just the scenography for the drama I’d chosen to play in this life. After all, the books on reincarnation explain it very clearly how the soul chooses its experiences for the next life according to the tasks it has set for itself. Over the years, being able to see more and more clearly how insanely brave, full of self-confidence and, I would say, even arrogant I was up there to choose all of that here on earth, I have no other choice but to persistently face what I intended to solve until I solve it… or die.
Of course, there are much more difficult scenarios than those of mine. I did not choose incurable diseases or hunger, extreme poverty, war circumstances (except for those seventy-eight days of bombing Serbia that I spent under stress but without consequences), I did not choose to be born as a woman in a country where women do not have basic rights. But, I would say, after those most difficult points on the scale, my topic comes into focus. How to provide a livelihood for the child and myself, in this country, with these capacities and my character? Frankly speaking, you don’t even have to be married, you need to be neither successful nor happy, you don’t have to go to the seaside every year, it’s not necessary to have regular sex or some new outfit. You can do without all that! And, even though I let go of all those desires and accepted the lack of them, I could not accept that my child had indecent living conditions. But before all that I chose to have a child.. I haven’t had a choice but to fight, to find a way to function in this world in which I cannot cope, to overcome myself daily and persistently, my fears, my blockages, my limitations, my anger, my resistance, to rise up after every defeat, every extinguished hope, every missed opportunity, to find strength and motivation for a new day…
It’s magical how life unfolds, like in a perfectly directed film, in which each and every smallest scene has its ‘why’. When I was thirty-two, I became seriously ill. It all started with small symptoms that, for some reason, did not give me peace. Three excellent doctors told me that everything was fine and that I was healthy. Around that time, I visited a friend, in a distant city, whom I rarely saw, (these days we are not even in touch), and told her what was happening to me. She took out a newspaper clipping from a drawer where there was exactly written everything I told her. It also said that the consequences could be very serious. So I found the fourth doctor who told me I came at the last minute. If I hadn’t gone through the surgery then, I would have never given birth to a child, and ultimately I could have died. The key point here is that I chose to have a child. Or the soul of my child chose me, to block all my other options, except that one… To persevere!
Author: Vesna Mišić, born in 1968. Leads one ordinary life in Serbia. Has been writing ever since she learnt to write. Publish two novels. Tried various spiritual techniques till Mohanji found her. She realised then that it’d be a long voyage and that she’s just got on board an ocean liner
The lockdown due to the pandemic has slowly been coming to an end in the part of the world where I am. People are going back to their offices, the restaurants are opening, and yet I feel like nothing will ever be the same. One thing is certain – social media and the internet have proven to be a vital part of humanity today, and our awakening. It helped some of us keep contact with our families and friends, it helped us gain information about how to be safe, it helped us stay at home and enjoy art. It also helped the less fortunate of our society. It helped spread messages of inequality and oppression all over the world. And we finally had time to listen.
It seems like the lockdown actually unlocked empathy. It feels like we needed to be stopped in our fast-paced lives to see how we’re slowly dying. We needed to be bound to our homes to realize some people do not have one. While we were waiting in line to enter the grocery shop, we had time to understand what access to food means, and we finally found the space to become aware of realities that were not our own, but no less true.
Going back to our reality, we are given a choice. The choice that we were given on the day that we were born, but we forgot. We are given a choice between nature and the superficial. A choice between truth and suppression. A choice between staying silent and speaking up. All of these seem so clear now that we have spent time away from systems and society as it is. With injustices happening every day in every part of the planet, we might feel threatened and helpless. At the same time, we can feel peace and unity finding out we are not alone, but there comes the burden of awareness, the burden of the awakened – knowing and feeling that people are hurting. Some are hurting in poverty, oppression, sickness. And some are hurting in greed, emptiness and power.
What is needed at this present moment is exactly what is happening – awakening. A realization that the current systems and the current norms do not serve us as a humanity. Not when women are afraid to go jogging alone, not when black people fear for their life when encountering the police, not when children are still dying of hunger. This is why the lockdown might have been profound, but not necessarily a positive experience – because we were once again reminded that no matter where we are, we all experience pain and fear in the same way. With the privileges that all of us reading this text have, we need to look for ways how we can dismantle systems of oppression, systems that cherish financial gain over well-being and systems that were made to distract us and divide us and stop us from waking up.
Let’s not forget, there will be times we will feel like there is too much to care about, too much to fight for. I want to remind us that this is what it means to be fully alive and human. Don’t let the “unawakened” keep you from that.
Author: Eva Feldman, as a highly empathetic person and a psychologist, she connects her understanding of the human psyche with spirituality, focusing on consciousness and awareness. Her goal is to share knowledge and passion about human beings in a simple and understandable way, and in that way to contribute to raising awareness in this day and age. Masters degree in Psychology, education in Art Expressive Therapy, as well as personal interests of social justice, mindfulness and Being, make for an interesting addition to her practices of dance, yoga and teaching. She found a purpose in living life fully and encouraging others to do so. Follow Eva on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toomucheva/
Since the days of war in Former Yugoslavia, I embraced uncertainty as my friend and a launching pad into a better, more expanded understanding and experience of reality. Interestingly enough, when Mohanji and I got married in 2010, he told me: “By marrying me, you have married uncertainty.” He is usually very cryptic and it takes time to understand the deeper meaning of his words. I remember smiling and giving a naughty remark: “How romantic.” But at a deeper level, it was a confirmation for me that I am on the right path.
All our comfort zones are beloved to our ego and mind full of expectations, insecurities and desires. At the soul level, there is absolutely no attachment to comfort zones. We are all equipped by our Creator to deal with anything, and by that I mean anything, that comes our way – including the current Coronavirus fear pandemic perpetuated by the media.
I would like to start this experience sharing by looking back at the start of 2020, when I conducted an unforgettable Conscious Dancing session in Belgrade, Serbia. I remember the thought I had “This year is going to be something special.” From there on, I was in a full-speed – starting from Slovenia, I travelled to Serbia to conduct a training program, then proceeded to a pilgrimage to the Holy Land as Mohanji Foundation representative. This was followed by some super-intense series of yoga and meditation programs that I conducted in Qatar, various programs and trainings within Mohanji Foundation platform in Sri Lanka and India, then a month-long Himalayan School of Traditional Yoga Teacher Training Course (where I had committed to be actively involved as the Faculty till the final examinations), until the next destination where programs were planned – London.
Just before coming to India, our daughter Mila joined Mohanji and me in Sri Lanka for his birthday celebration and the travels that ensued. She was to stay with us for two weeks before resuming school in Slovenia. We even celebrated her birthday early, before she was scheduled to leave. However, just when the Yoga Teacher Training Course was ending, the sudden lock-down took place in India. In the middle of the night, as the full curfew was being enforced, I managed to reach Mohanji ashram in Bangalore, a lovely house in which Mohanji, his parents, Mila and a couple of our friends were staying. The entire situation with Coronavirus lockdown seemed like a scene from a Matrix movie. It was completely surreal.
All of this felt like somebody pressed a mighty break from above while I was on the fastest highway track, moving in full speed. “And now what?” was the natural question that arose in many minds, including mine. Air tickets were lost, programs cancelled, opportunities lost, plans changed, but at a deeper level, there was a lot to be gained. Upon Mohanji’s advice, and by the natural flow of the events that ensued, I intensified what was missing – quality time in silence within, through my own spiritual practice, as well as the quality time with our daughter Mila, who misses her parents too many times per year. Her Indian grandparents are elderly and this was a precious time for Mohan family to spend time together.
Moreover, soon after the lockdown had started, the auspicious time of Navratri came. Traditionally, this is the special time in India when different aspects and qualities of Divine Mother are being celebrated, worshipped and imbibed through a fire ceremony called Homa. Since the days of war and despair in Former Yugoslavia, when my spiritual journey effectively started, I felt an especially deep connection with the Divine Mother (in Christianity we call her Mother Mary, but later on in India, I connected at a deeper level with all aspects and qualities of Mother, including the powerful, fierce, protective one). This led me to choose the name Devi in 2015, to honour and further strengthen this sacred connection with Mother.
It is said that five is the minimum number of people needed to form solid group energy in any spiritual process. And so it happened that five of us (from Europe, USA, India and Australia), we’re blessed to get together and truly make the best out of the Coronavirus quarantine situation. We were getting up at 4.30 am to prepare and chant mantras for 3h hours every morning during those nine days of Navratri Homa. This was done in the virtual company of tens of thousands of people who were joining us through Facebook Live streaming. We were receiving feedback from people how powerful the cleansing was, crying, bliss, inner revelations, clarity at the level of the mind, deep inner experiences, all this took place.
In my case, it all culminated on the first and second day after Navratri. The morning after Navratri, on April 3rd, my usual Consciousness Kriya practice felt much deeper and I could feel the energy in my spine for quite some time afterwards. On April 4th, I followed the same routine of yoga and kriya and then felt the pull to take a nap afterwards. Mohanji told me that from 9 – 10.30 am that morning will be a “special time, highly auspicious, great for chanting Shiva mantras. Not a minute should be wasted.” I got up just on time and hurried to join my friends Rajesh and Ananth who did a prolonged Yagnya (cleansing through fire) especially for this occasion. Ananth then started chanting the Rudram – he said he has been practising Vedic chanting since childhood and really loves it. I must say it was really amazing. I could feel the effect of this Rudram, together with the Yagya that Rajesh was performing, and simply enjoyed the vibes seated next to them.
At some point I felt a super intense energy literally grabbing me from above. My eyes got rolled up and my lower jaw dropped instantly. I had no control over this energy and could not close my mouth, nor open my eyes, not to mention looking elsewhere. I was totally consumed by this intense, blissful energy. This was totally unexpected. While part of me was surrendered to this sudden state, another part of me was witnessing it all in awe, completely present in the moment. The entire experience was fascinating and a bit scary at the same time, depending on the perspective. I understand now why Kundalini is symbolically depicted as a snake. It really felt like a big snake coursing through my spine, while its hood on top of my head was like a huge, powerful magnet that kept my eyes rolled up and glued to it in the feeling of continuous, super intense presence.
I stayed in that state for an hour or so. It was beyond amazing! The whole experience lasted exactly till the end of those 90 minutes that Mohanji described as the important time for spiritual practice. Such is the blessing of having a Spiritual Master in one’s life. It took me a while to settle down and digest this experience in silence. After I grounded myself through a bit of food and could finally manage to speak, I thanked Ananth and Rajesh from the bottom of my heart. After some time, I went upstairs to joyfully share the experience with Mohanji, although aware that he would know about it anyway. After I briefly explained what had happened, he replied in his usual, cryptic way: “I know, I saw it. Good. Write about it while it is still fresh in your mind.”
It was then that I remembered that I had committed to Mia that I would contribute to the May edition of Refresh Your Life magazine. This experience created a sufficient momentum to write.
The following day, April 5th, was yet another special day. This time it was the extraordinary astrological position of Jupiter and Pluto conjunction. A global wave of meditation was being organized by many spiritual groups across the globe, all meditating at the same time. Mohanji agreed that we too give our contribution to this wave of positivity. I was to conduct it. We chose one of our standard meditations, but I was to modify it a bit to make it match with the intention and inclusion of the element of Light that was essential for this global wave. Little did I know how deeply this would hit me. The entire meditation was preparation to safely enter into a vast state of expansion, way beyond our planet, and connect with the Light. In all my years of meditation, I have never felt the light so vividly and intensely. From the Cosmic Sun, to galactic Suns, to the Central Sun of our Galaxy, my consciousness witnessed the flow of the sacred light to our Sun and then through our crown and spine, the light was being grounded into Mother Earth, all the way to her core. At the end I chanted a special mantra, celebrating the Light. Every cell of my body was vibrating and the glory of sacred unity was felt throughout. This was beyond beautiful. Again, I received many messages of gratitude from friends, who were also blown away by the power of this meditation. One of my friends shared her vision of higher beings, way above the 5th dimension, who joined us during this meditation and supported it with their blessings. I felt so incredibly blessed to serve as an instrument in this process. I will forever treasure all these sacred experiences. If it wasn’t for the Coronavirus quarantine, I doubt I would have been to dedicate this much time to spiritual practice. Thank you Universe, I forever trust the Divine Providence behind all our experiences.
I was reminded of the ancient Chinese proverb “May you live in interesting times.” This is that special time on our planet when a huge transformation is taking place at the level of individual consciousness, collective consciousness, from the understanding of our reality and our true history, to a huge change in our education system, healthcare, financial/economic system – all of it. It is a great blessing to be alive in the here and now. My message to all the readers is – choose wisely how you utilize this precious time off that has been given to us. Be aware where your attention goes, for where the attention goes, the energy flows. May this be a great time of transformation and spiritual awakening for all of us.
Author: Devi Mohan is Global Ambassador for Mohanji Foundation, Senior Instructor of the Himalayan School of Traditional Yoga (HSTY), and Global President of ACT Foundation, an internationally active charity. Participant at various international events, initiatives, and forums: from interfaith dialogue and world peace-related forums such as the Parliament of World’s Religions, Peace Pledge Project and Unity Earth, to non-violence and women empowerment-related events and initiatives such as Vegan India Conference and Women Emerging. Through her inspirational speeches, she aims to touch the hearts of people and serve the cause of peace through the active expression of love and expansion of consciousness.
This article was first published on Refresh Your Life Magazine https://ryl.rs/
When Valmiki completed his Ramayana, Narada wasn’t impressed. ‘It is good, but Hanuman’s is better’, he said.
‘That monkey has written the Ramayana too!’ Valmiki didn’t like this at all, and wondered whose Ramayana was better. So he set out to find Hanuman.
In Kadali-vana, grove of plantains, he found Ramayana inscribed on seven broad leaves of a banana tree.
He read it and found it to be perfect. The most exquisite choice of grammar and vocabulary, metre and melody. He couldn’t help himself. He started to cry.
‘Is it so bad?’ asked Hanuman
‘No, it is so good’, said Valmiki
‘Then why are you crying?’ asked Hanuman
‘Because after reading your Ramayana no one will read my Ramayana,’ replied Valmiki
Hearing this Hanuman simply tore up the seven banana leaves stating ‘Now no one will ever read Hanuman’s Ramayana.’
Hanuman said, ‘You need your Ramayana more than I need mine. You wrote your Ramayana so that the world remembers Valmiki; I wrote my Ramayana so that I remember Ram.’
At that moment he realized how he had been consumed by the desire for validation through his work. He had not used the work to liberate himself from the fear of invalidation. He had not appreciated the essence of Ram’s tale to unknot his mind. His Ramayana was a product of ambition; Hanuman’s Ramayana was a product of affection. That’s why Hanuman’s Ramayana sounded so much better. Valmiki realized that greater than Ram is the idea of Ram ( राम से बड़ा राम का नाम ).
This story tell us that there are people like Hanuman who don’t want to be famous. They do stuff just to fulfill some purpose. So people like Valmiki, don’t think your ” Ramayana” is the best. There are many unsung “Hanuman” also.
Source: Zoran Stefanovski facebook profile
INQUIRER: One is pulled in two directions, towards God as well as towards sense enjoyment – this causes anguish.
SRI MA: You have a desire to give up, but you cannot let go; such is your problem. Let that desire awaken in your heart – its stirring signifies that the time is coming when you will be able to give up.
You obtain a coveted object, but still you are dissatisfied ; and if you fail to get it, you are also disappointed.
The disillusionment you experience at the fulfilment of your wish is wholesome; but the torment of the unfulfilled hankering after the things you could not secure, drives you towards which is of death, towards that misery.
INQUIRER: The hunger of the senses can never be appeased; the more one gets, the more one wants. The fulfilment of worldly desire only begets greater longing.
SRI MA: This world is itself but an embodiment of want, and hence the heartache due to the absence of fulfilment must needs endure. This is why it is said that there are two kinds of currents in human life : the one pertaining to the world, in which want follows upon want; the other of one’s true Being. It is characteristic of the former that it can never end in fulfilment – on the contrary, the sense of want is perpetually stimulated anew. Whereas by entering the latter man will become established in his true nature and bring to completion the striving which is its expression. Thus, if he endeavours to fulfil himself by entering this current, it will eventually bring him to the perfect poise of his own true Being.
I would like to offer readers an experience graciously given me by Sathya Sai Baba back in 1989. This experience was brought back to memory only when reading the story given by “Heart2Heart” on 13th May 2010.
Heart2Heart did an interview with Mr Raja Reddy, Baba said to Mr Reddy:
If you are a devotee of Vishnu, you will see the parama-jyoti (Supreme light) coming from My heart; if you are a devotee of Shiva, you will see it from My forehead – where the third eye or the Jnana netra (eye of wisdom) is located.
Back in late 1987. I knew nothing of Sathya Sai Baba, nor had I ever heard the name. It was only until 1988. when praying from the depths of my heart did God answer me the very next day. You may remember the story of the experience I was given when invited to sit at séance. When first I entered the home of this medium woman, I came face to face with a large oil painting of Sathya Sai Baba. In that story I mentioned how the eye’s of Baba would follow me, and how the eye’s would often blink as if alive. This is how God answered me by arranging to have me sit in a séance where He would get my attention through a painting.
I guess this is what is called a calling from God, and I grabbed at it with both hands and still today firmly have a tight grip on it where I will never let it loose, no matter what. I have always strived hard in working towards the opening of the third eye…or, the inner-vision, this I would try to develop through constant meditation whether it be at home or within spiritual circles (séances). My whole outlook on life was always on the development of this inner-vision as well as connecting with those in spirit, I wanted to know what happens when we die… who meets us at the time of death… where do we go… etc, etc, etc. This has always been my goal ever since I can remember. But of course God has always been at the forefront of my spiritual desires.
After learning more about Sai Baba through the books I would read and hearing what devotees were saying Him to be (GOD), greatly got my attention. My attraction towards Baba increased rapidly from the many experiences granted me. I found a beautiful full-length photo of Him sitting in an orange chair, this I had enlarged and framed which hangs on the wall in my office along with another photo taken in 1992. This photo is of my brother and I standing next to Swami in His interview room. The full-length photo of Swami sitting in His chair I did sit before one day in meditation.
Something in the photo this day got my attention while my eyes were closed. On opening my eye’s I saw in the position of the third eye on Swami’s forehead, a small pin dot of white light take form. As I watched with fascination it grew larger and its brilliance intensified. This light was incredibly bright as it continued to grow in size. Then after some seconds it stabilized. As I kept watching I saw a door open within the light, then with excitement building within me Swami stepped through it. He looked at me and smiled then turned and walked back through the door, closed it, and was gone. In the place on Swami’s forehead where the light began is a large letter (B). It’s not noticeable until one looks closely, then its easily seen even from a distance. I wonder if the light I was shown tells me that once I was a devotee of Shiva? In another life that is.
Author: Rev. Wayne E Farquhar, www.illawarraceremonies.com