“When we choose health insurance over passion, we choose survival over life.” – Charles Eisenstein
You may have concluded so far that I am not the one who chooses health insurance. Oh, I’m not like that at all! I am the one who has always known what her life purpose is. I am the one who’s always followed her passion, without hesitation and calculation. I even managed to materialize my passion by publishing my poems and novels.
So, where does, then, the feeling of failure, frustration and dissatisfaction I’ve been sensing all of my life, come from?
I’ve been feeling that I am missing something, I am persistently missing something, after all those years of searching and trying to get out of the frame in which I am, to climb a step higher, everything is the same and I am on the same page. I keep missing something…
What I’ve been missing, looking back from my current perspective, was that writing is not the ultimate goal of my soul, but a tool, a path, the very bait that is constantly pushing me one step further, to try this, to experience that, to see this, maybe ‘that something’ can help me, maybe it will be clearer… and then, when I go through the event, the thought comes to mind: Wow, how well will this be for the novel! My burning passion for writing, permanently in contrast to the everlasting struggle for a decent existence and dependence from others, with my character which does not respect authority, it was just the scenography for the drama I’d chosen to play in this life. After all, the books on reincarnation explain it very clearly how the soul chooses its experiences for the next life according to the tasks it has set for itself. Over the years, being able to see more and more clearly how insanely brave, full of self-confidence and, I would say, even arrogant I was up there to choose all of that here on earth, I have no other choice but to persistently face what I intended to solve until I solve it… or die.
Of course, there are much more difficult scenarios than those of mine. I did not choose incurable diseases or hunger, extreme poverty, war circumstances (except for those seventy-eight days of bombing Serbia that I spent under stress but without consequences), I did not choose to be born as a woman in a country where women do not have basic rights. But, I would say, after those most difficult points on the scale, my topic comes into focus. How to provide a livelihood for the child and myself, in this country, with these capacities and my character? Frankly speaking, you don’t even have to be married, you need to be neither successful nor happy, you don’t have to go to the seaside every year, it’s not necessary to have regular sex or some new outfit. You can do without all that! And, even though I let go of all those desires and accepted the lack of them, I could not accept that my child had indecent living conditions. But before all that I chose to have a child.. I haven’t had a choice but to fight, to find a way to function in this world in which I cannot cope, to overcome myself daily and persistently, my fears, my blockages, my limitations, my anger, my resistance, to rise up after every defeat, every extinguished hope, every missed opportunity, to find strength and motivation for a new day…
It’s magical how life unfolds, like in a perfectly directed film, in which each and every smallest scene has its ‘why’. When I was thirty-two, I became seriously ill. It all started with small symptoms that, for some reason, did not give me peace. Three excellent doctors told me that everything was fine and that I was healthy. Around that time, I visited a friend, in a distant city, whom I rarely saw, (these days we are not even in touch), and told her what was happening to me. She took out a newspaper clipping from a drawer where there was exactly written everything I told her. It also said that the consequences could be very serious. So I found the fourth doctor who told me I came at the last minute. If I hadn’t gone through the surgery then, I would have never given birth to a child, and ultimately I could have died. The key point here is that I chose to have a child. Or the soul of my child chose me, to block all my other options, except that one… To persevere!
Author: Vesna Mišić, born in 1968. Leads one ordinary life in Serbia. Has been writing ever since she learnt to write. Publish two novels. Tried various spiritual techniques till Mohanji found her. She realised then that it’d be a long voyage and that she’s just got on board an ocean liner
The lockdown due to the pandemic has slowly been coming to an end in the part of the world where I am. People are going back to their offices, the restaurants are opening, and yet I feel like nothing will ever be the same. One thing is certain – social media and the internet have proven to be a vital part of humanity today, and our awakening. It helped some of us keep contact with our families and friends, it helped us gain information about how to be safe, it helped us stay at home and enjoy art. It also helped the less fortunate of our society. It helped spread messages of inequality and oppression all over the world. And we finally had time to listen.
It seems like the lockdown actually unlocked empathy. It feels like we needed to be stopped in our fast-paced lives to see how we’re slowly dying. We needed to be bound to our homes to realize some people do not have one. While we were waiting in line to enter the grocery shop, we had time to understand what access to food means, and we finally found the space to become aware of realities that were not our own, but no less true.
Going back to our reality, we are given a choice. The choice that we were given on the day that we were born, but we forgot. We are given a choice between nature and the superficial. A choice between truth and suppression. A choice between staying silent and speaking up. All of these seem so clear now that we have spent time away from systems and society as it is. With injustices happening every day in every part of the planet, we might feel threatened and helpless. At the same time, we can feel peace and unity finding out we are not alone, but there comes the burden of awareness, the burden of the awakened – knowing and feeling that people are hurting. Some are hurting in poverty, oppression, sickness. And some are hurting in greed, emptiness and power.
What is needed at this present moment is exactly what is happening – awakening. A realization that the current systems and the current norms do not serve us as a humanity. Not when women are afraid to go jogging alone, not when black people fear for their life when encountering the police, not when children are still dying of hunger. This is why the lockdown might have been profound, but not necessarily a positive experience – because we were once again reminded that no matter where we are, we all experience pain and fear in the same way. With the privileges that all of us reading this text have, we need to look for ways how we can dismantle systems of oppression, systems that cherish financial gain over well-being and systems that were made to distract us and divide us and stop us from waking up.
Let’s not forget, there will be times we will feel like there is too much to care about, too much to fight for. I want to remind us that this is what it means to be fully alive and human. Don’t let the “unawakened” keep you from that.
Author: Eva Feldman, as a highly empathetic person and a psychologist, she connects her understanding of the human psyche with spirituality, focusing on consciousness and awareness. Her goal is to share knowledge and passion about human beings in a simple and understandable way, and in that way to contribute to raising awareness in this day and age. Masters degree in Psychology, education in Art Expressive Therapy, as well as personal interests of social justice, mindfulness and Being, make for an interesting addition to her practices of dance, yoga and teaching. She found a purpose in living life fully and encouraging others to do so. Follow Eva on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toomucheva/
Since the days of war in Former Yugoslavia, I embraced uncertainty as my friend and a launching pad into a better, more expanded understanding and experience of reality. Interestingly enough, when Mohanji and I got married in 2010, he told me: “By marrying me, you have married uncertainty.” He is usually very cryptic and it takes time to understand the deeper meaning of his words. I remember smiling and giving a naughty remark: “How romantic.” But at a deeper level, it was a confirmation for me that I am on the right path.
All our comfort zones are beloved to our ego and mind full of expectations, insecurities and desires. At the soul level, there is absolutely no attachment to comfort zones. We are all equipped by our Creator to deal with anything, and by that I mean anything, that comes our way – including the current Coronavirus fear pandemic perpetuated by the media.
I would like to start this experience sharing by looking back at the start of 2020, when I conducted an unforgettable Conscious Dancing session in Belgrade, Serbia. I remember the thought I had “This year is going to be something special.” From there on, I was in a full-speed – starting from Slovenia, I travelled to Serbia to conduct a training program, then proceeded to a pilgrimage to the Holy Land as Mohanji Foundation representative. This was followed by some super-intense series of yoga and meditation programs that I conducted in Qatar, various programs and trainings within Mohanji Foundation platform in Sri Lanka and India, then a month-long Himalayan School of Traditional Yoga Teacher Training Course (where I had committed to be actively involved as the Faculty till the final examinations), until the next destination where programs were planned – London.
Just before coming to India, our daughter Mila joined Mohanji and me in Sri Lanka for his birthday celebration and the travels that ensued. She was to stay with us for two weeks before resuming school in Slovenia. We even celebrated her birthday early, before she was scheduled to leave. However, just when the Yoga Teacher Training Course was ending, the sudden lock-down took place in India. In the middle of the night, as the full curfew was being enforced, I managed to reach Mohanji ashram in Bangalore, a lovely house in which Mohanji, his parents, Mila and a couple of our friends were staying. The entire situation with Coronavirus lockdown seemed like a scene from a Matrix movie. It was completely surreal.
All of this felt like somebody pressed a mighty break from above while I was on the fastest highway track, moving in full speed. “And now what?” was the natural question that arose in many minds, including mine. Air tickets were lost, programs cancelled, opportunities lost, plans changed, but at a deeper level, there was a lot to be gained. Upon Mohanji’s advice, and by the natural flow of the events that ensued, I intensified what was missing – quality time in silence within, through my own spiritual practice, as well as the quality time with our daughter Mila, who misses her parents too many times per year. Her Indian grandparents are elderly and this was a precious time for Mohan family to spend time together.
Moreover, soon after the lockdown had started, the auspicious time of Navratri came. Traditionally, this is the special time in India when different aspects and qualities of Divine Mother are being celebrated, worshipped and imbibed through a fire ceremony called Homa. Since the days of war and despair in Former Yugoslavia, when my spiritual journey effectively started, I felt an especially deep connection with the Divine Mother (in Christianity we call her Mother Mary, but later on in India, I connected at a deeper level with all aspects and qualities of Mother, including the powerful, fierce, protective one). This led me to choose the name Devi in 2015, to honour and further strengthen this sacred connection with Mother.
It is said that five is the minimum number of people needed to form solid group energy in any spiritual process. And so it happened that five of us (from Europe, USA, India and Australia), we’re blessed to get together and truly make the best out of the Coronavirus quarantine situation. We were getting up at 4.30 am to prepare and chant mantras for 3h hours every morning during those nine days of Navratri Homa. This was done in the virtual company of tens of thousands of people who were joining us through Facebook Live streaming. We were receiving feedback from people how powerful the cleansing was, crying, bliss, inner revelations, clarity at the level of the mind, deep inner experiences, all this took place.
In my case, it all culminated on the first and second day after Navratri. The morning after Navratri, on April 3rd, my usual Consciousness Kriya practice felt much deeper and I could feel the energy in my spine for quite some time afterwards. On April 4th, I followed the same routine of yoga and kriya and then felt the pull to take a nap afterwards. Mohanji told me that from 9 – 10.30 am that morning will be a “special time, highly auspicious, great for chanting Shiva mantras. Not a minute should be wasted.” I got up just on time and hurried to join my friends Rajesh and Ananth who did a prolonged Yagnya (cleansing through fire) especially for this occasion. Ananth then started chanting the Rudram – he said he has been practising Vedic chanting since childhood and really loves it. I must say it was really amazing. I could feel the effect of this Rudram, together with the Yagya that Rajesh was performing, and simply enjoyed the vibes seated next to them.
At some point I felt a super intense energy literally grabbing me from above. My eyes got rolled up and my lower jaw dropped instantly. I had no control over this energy and could not close my mouth, nor open my eyes, not to mention looking elsewhere. I was totally consumed by this intense, blissful energy. This was totally unexpected. While part of me was surrendered to this sudden state, another part of me was witnessing it all in awe, completely present in the moment. The entire experience was fascinating and a bit scary at the same time, depending on the perspective. I understand now why Kundalini is symbolically depicted as a snake. It really felt like a big snake coursing through my spine, while its hood on top of my head was like a huge, powerful magnet that kept my eyes rolled up and glued to it in the feeling of continuous, super intense presence.
I stayed in that state for an hour or so. It was beyond amazing! The whole experience lasted exactly till the end of those 90 minutes that Mohanji described as the important time for spiritual practice. Such is the blessing of having a Spiritual Master in one’s life. It took me a while to settle down and digest this experience in silence. After I grounded myself through a bit of food and could finally manage to speak, I thanked Ananth and Rajesh from the bottom of my heart. After some time, I went upstairs to joyfully share the experience with Mohanji, although aware that he would know about it anyway. After I briefly explained what had happened, he replied in his usual, cryptic way: “I know, I saw it. Good. Write about it while it is still fresh in your mind.”
It was then that I remembered that I had committed to Mia that I would contribute to the May edition of Refresh Your Life magazine. This experience created a sufficient momentum to write.
The following day, April 5th, was yet another special day. This time it was the extraordinary astrological position of Jupiter and Pluto conjunction. A global wave of meditation was being organized by many spiritual groups across the globe, all meditating at the same time. Mohanji agreed that we too give our contribution to this wave of positivity. I was to conduct it. We chose one of our standard meditations, but I was to modify it a bit to make it match with the intention and inclusion of the element of Light that was essential for this global wave. Little did I know how deeply this would hit me. The entire meditation was preparation to safely enter into a vast state of expansion, way beyond our planet, and connect with the Light. In all my years of meditation, I have never felt the light so vividly and intensely. From the Cosmic Sun, to galactic Suns, to the Central Sun of our Galaxy, my consciousness witnessed the flow of the sacred light to our Sun and then through our crown and spine, the light was being grounded into Mother Earth, all the way to her core. At the end I chanted a special mantra, celebrating the Light. Every cell of my body was vibrating and the glory of sacred unity was felt throughout. This was beyond beautiful. Again, I received many messages of gratitude from friends, who were also blown away by the power of this meditation. One of my friends shared her vision of higher beings, way above the 5th dimension, who joined us during this meditation and supported it with their blessings. I felt so incredibly blessed to serve as an instrument in this process. I will forever treasure all these sacred experiences. If it wasn’t for the Coronavirus quarantine, I doubt I would have been to dedicate this much time to spiritual practice. Thank you Universe, I forever trust the Divine Providence behind all our experiences.
I was reminded of the ancient Chinese proverb “May you live in interesting times.” This is that special time on our planet when a huge transformation is taking place at the level of individual consciousness, collective consciousness, from the understanding of our reality and our true history, to a huge change in our education system, healthcare, financial/economic system – all of it. It is a great blessing to be alive in the here and now. My message to all the readers is – choose wisely how you utilize this precious time off that has been given to us. Be aware where your attention goes, for where the attention goes, the energy flows. May this be a great time of transformation and spiritual awakening for all of us.
Author: Devi Mohan is Global Ambassador for Mohanji Foundation, Senior Instructor of the Himalayan School of Traditional Yoga (HSTY), and Global President of ACT Foundation, an internationally active charity. Participant at various international events, initiatives, and forums: from interfaith dialogue and world peace-related forums such as the Parliament of World’s Religions, Peace Pledge Project and Unity Earth, to non-violence and women empowerment-related events and initiatives such as Vegan India Conference and Women Emerging. Through her inspirational speeches, she aims to touch the hearts of people and serve the cause of peace through the active expression of love and expansion of consciousness.
This article was first published on Refresh Your Life Magazine https://ryl.rs/
This book is an attempt to bring together spiritual stories for the reader on the path of awakening; to stir a soul search, an awareness of the elements, to instil values and to lay bare the truth of life and death; as perceived, in this concise volume.
Some of the stories are direct experiences; some were pictured in imagination, some are metaphorical while others are symbolic. Each story has a message, which Ifelt was a precious insight from the Universe around and must be shared with all.
Each of the stories was written and rewritten several times, as new perspectives kept developing while I meditated on their contents. The stories are ever fluid, and may be they develop newer perspectives even after they go out in print.
Jyoti Prateek is a freelance author who contributes to several internet forums and magazines. She regularly writes for The Awakening Times Magazine, contributing through stories, articles and interviews. Her other publications include, Song of the Being, an anthology of sacred poetry.
Coming from a Science background and having an inclination towards the occult, she has taken a research like attitude that dives deep into the mysteries of life and metaphysical subjects, and thereby presenting the concepts in a lucid and easily understandable way to the readers.
I was soared and taken away into lands of mysticism and wisdom, where elements were speaking to my soul. Miraculous landscapes, unassuming saints and ancient temples were filling my mind with long forgotten wisdom. I felt as if enlightened Masters talked to me as I was a child and they were my parents.
“Is it possible that all these words were written by a modest and humble lady from a different side of the world?” I questioned myself. How old this soul must be when she pours such a great wisdom with so much grace and humility?
I surrendered to her voice and words and allowed myself to be taken into heights and depths of eternal Truth. Blessed is the being that spread so much light unto this world. Blessed are all those who have the chance to be illuminated by it.
Keep shining, you beautiful Soul, whoever touches your words and stories, will be changed forever.
Editor in chief, The Awakening Times magazine
Whenever your arms get numb from all that oil massaging your baby’s body, delight your nostrils with the amazing scent of baby milk, baby skin and oil essence as they will be gone sooner than you think.
Every time some “well-intentioned” people, either neighbors, strangers or relatives criticize your small children’s noise, misconduct or way of eating, remind yourself you did not had kids to use them as museum exhibits.
Each time you feel your head falls down and your eyes won’t stay opened while feeding your child at 4 AM, gently whisper a baby song to wake you up.
Whenever your financial difficulties make you cry as the money won’t be enough to feed something else than fries to your older child for the third day in a row, count in your mind all the things you have that money can’t buy.
Each time you feel you would give up two months of your life for a night out and some whiskey drinks, enjoy how peaceful your kids look when they are asleep.
Whenever drops of cold sweat run down your face from all the lifting, turning and holding your toddler in order to change his diaper, have a good laugh by admiring his small tushy twitching and spinning, while trying to evade you.
Every time you feel like you are left behind while your colleagues attend new workshops, get promoted or conquer new challenges, remember all the midnights you cried in the office as you did not make it home in time to tuck in your children.
When you feel like cursing your incredible bad luck as you nearly got caught by one of your “sleep walking” rascals while trying to fool around with your loved one, be thankful his pretended tummy ache did not happen some moments later.
Each time you feel you are really going to punish your kids for life after knocking on the bathroom door every 5 seconds while you try to take a “luxury” 15 minutes bath, be delighted of how important you are to them if they need you all that much.
Whenever you feel lonely as no one calls you for days to check if you are still alive, take a look at your children and realize you will always have someone precious to share the storms and rainbows of life.
Every time you want to put your head in a bag and scream ’cause you got tired of putting their toys back, imagine how your home would be only a house if your children wouldn’t be there starting tomorrow.
In all those moments you miss having a flat belly, but you can’t exercise without crushing down from all the fatigue, get in bed and let your toddler bounce on your belly – you will have fun and exercise at the same time.
Each time you feel you could kill for 5 minutes of complete silence around you, amuse yourself by trying to talk as fast as you child does.
When you feel you are one second away from throwing out the window the bowl of mashed potatoes your older child refuses (after saying “no” to other three dishes you already served him), see in your mind the pictures of sick children laying on a hospital bed and being fed intravenously.
Each time you feel like fainting when seeing the complete mess in your freshly cleaned house, after leaving your small children with somebody else for couple of hours, stop being a mom and a house keeper for a second, become a child and enter whatever fantasy they invented that needed the home to be trashed.
Whenever a school teacher makes negative comments about your child’s infinite energy, stubbornness and lack of obeying without understanding, before praising her concentration, thoughtfulness and sparkling intelligence, nod as if you agree with the critics, go home and encourage your child harder than ever in following her dreams and becoming better than yesterday.
Every night you lay awake feeling sorry for yourself, paralyzed by everything you can’t do, can’t have or don’t know, learn from how your children start over with endless enthusiasm each morning, each game, each challenge.
Each time you think there is no way you can pull this off without losing your minds or damaging your kids for life, have a look at what you’ve accomplished so far: how healthy they are, how chatty they are, how open and sincere, how willing to help, how responsive to other’s feelings, how determined to win, how decided to not give up, how noisy and smiling and happy they are!
Whenever you feel knocked down, crushed, broken, defeated, humiliated, alone, betrayed and hurting, raise your head from the ground and realize that if one of your deepest wishes came true, there must be a meaning for everything that happens in your life!
So please, keep your head up, you did great, you’re a MOM!
Bio: I am a 35 year old female from Romania and I am in love with writing.
You can find my work here www.catchy.ro/author/oana-radeanu and here www.oanasimaicum.wordpress.com/category/english-section
I have always been caught between two types of people that seem to know what my approach on life should be: the ones that say life is only to be enjoyed, without putting too much back into it, without useless efforts, struggles or questions and the ones that say the opposite: live your life with passion, push yourself in becoming better, never cease struggling and questioning everything and especially yourself. As you probably know, some people have very clear ideas on how others should live their lives…
I have spent a lot of time trying to adapt to situations where I wasn’t comfortable or trying to mingle, to be part of groups that were not representing who I was or what I believed it. I have invested even more effort in trying to change in order to be accepted. Wait, not just accepted, but acknowledged as an important member of groups I thought meant the world to me at some point. And I have wasted a lot of sleepless nights trying to decide myself which side am I on: mine or the others.
All this might come from self-trust or self-esteem issues… when they are not stable, but fluctuant, it’s very likely you behave like the most unreasonable man in the world and feel like the most alienated human on Earth.
What I have discovered over the years is that it’s very simple to be live in a cozy, mildly warm, comfort zone. The same way it’s very easy to blame everybody and everything else for your position in life – I know it because I did it for some years and it costs me a lot of pain.
It’s easy to be or become self-sufficient, especially when this condition seems to be the promise land of living happily and not tormented by anything. It’s easy to fall in this giant modern trap that says life is short so you should enjoy it with minimums: minimum efforts to strive for better, minimum openness to persons who are really worthy, minimum willingness to get broken, beaten and humiliated just so you can get back on your feet, minimum determination in risking it all and starting over, minimum availability to reinvent everything that you are, minimum courage to stand up to yourself, minimum, minimum, minimum…
I guess the hardest part in life is to fight against you. Maybe it’s a little like fighting your survival instinct that tells you not to go into the flames so you won’t die from burnings. The tricky part is that for a period of time you fight against who you think you are. The real you doesn’t reveal before you go through some stages. That unless, of course, you have always been a self-sufficient arrogant dude, who knows it all, needs to learn nothing and who can teach everybody how to live.
The real struggle is to decide what your attitude will be: settle or want more. Be or become. Remain plain or keep learning. With all the torment I feel, it’s very strange to me how people decide to remain in one place. Or to stay still. In a world that continues to change, how can you stay still? Look at everything around you: education, technology, medicine – everything evolves, changes, transforms into something else. Of course, not all changes are good. The same way, not all the steps you are going to take will be smooth and pleasant. But, again, how can you stay still when everything moves?
Deciding to be a struggler it’s a step no one can take in your place. And it’s part of a more sensitive process: accepting who you are. Everybody talks nowadays about knowing yourself, accepting yourself, forgiving yourself, yet few people spend time in understanding what all this means and even fewer people are willing to take the blind fold off their eyes to see if what they decided really works for them.
If they can settle for being just a spectator and not the leading artist of their life. If they won’t regret later not struggling for themselves: to challenge everything they though they knew about themselves, to stretch and push themselves more so they can take pride in who they become, to work really hard to achieve their goals, to suffer more just so they can say they have been really alive.
It struck me to see so many self-sufficient attitudes around me. You have one life.
Is it the life you want? Are you the person you want to be? Are all your dreams fulfilled? No? Then what the heck are you doing resting? You’re taking a break? You can’t take a life time break!!! It will come back to haunt you!
So, few years back I decided: I am a struggler. With the risk of finding peace of mind only three minutes before I die, with the risk of being exhausted from chasing dreams – so impossible according to others, with the risk of not “enjoying” life as given, I am the struggler that will have just one thing to regret in the old age: did not had more energy to do everything I have been passionate about! So I am asking you, for the sake of the gift called life, decide.
Decide what you are going to be, before it’s too late!
Author: Oana Rădeanu
Bio: I am a 35 year old female from Romania and I am in love with writing.
You can find my work here www.catchy.ro/author/oana-radeanu and here www.oanasimaicum.wordpress.com/category/english-section