Seeking Happiness 1

We search for happiness even before we know it.

We find it in the warmth of our first maternal embrace which we grasp with fear instinctively guessing that it might be the last time to hear the beating of her heart from the inside. After a while we are happy to stand on our two feet and to discover new things everyday.

That grass feels so funny under our soles. Mom is so beautiful. Mothers will never be as beautiful as they are in the eyes of their young children. The world is all mine when I ride on my father’s shoulders.

We find it in the games played with other children from the block. In the first school love. Back when love meant sharing homework, leaving secret notes and flowers and stealing innocent kisses on the cheek. Or holding hands and giggling on the school hallways.

We find it in the high school years parties and in the seaside getaways.

In our adult days we seek happiness in a well paid job that doesn’t suit us, dressed up with office attires much more expensive that we could ever afford- all to impress managers who only know our first names.

“Don’t let them change you! ” Smart woman my mom.

We seek happiness in our closest friends. We lose some along the way. With some we reunite. Real friends know your birthday without Facebook notification.

We seek happiness in other people weddings, in romantic movies, in the seasonal forest fruits, in the birth of a new family member, in the health of our parents. In a professional project, in the mirage of working abroad.

Some find it in white lies and in the next relationship, the next partner to fulfill their needs. In the money they spend. In the car they drive. In the competition, in their success or in the losses of others.

We never stop chasing. We chase it on dark dusty streets. Happiness hides from playgrounds and parks. Too many people would find it.

We always tend to locate it on the other side…Furthermore, in a morbid way we feed our joy with other people’s grief.

The day is almost over. We shall continue the search tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. We found some footprints. Let’s call it a night.

We come back home full of doubts and uncertainties.

Same as you, I drag my feet on the staircase of my building. The elevator is out of order. Somebody stole the light ball again. I reach my apartment door and blindly start looking for the key.

Happiness opens the door smiling: “How was your day?”

 I wasted my time love..…really wasted my time!

Author: Alexandra Radulescu, medium.com/@aleradulescu