So, you’ve found the woman of your dreams. She’s beautiful, sexy, smart, loving, sarcastic, feisty, nerdy, adventurous and a million other things that make you want to make her yours. Forever. There’s only one problem…she’s too strong willed…stubborn even. She poses a challenge, and a threat to your oh so fragile male ego.
She is the untamed mare that you catch a brief glimpse of before she disappears from your line of vision. To leisurely admire her beauty, you tell yourself she has to be shod, bridled and corralled (so you can take care of her as you would really like to). I understand.
She is Mount Everest. That breathtaking mountain whose majesty you believe you can truly appreciate once you stock up on the ropes, boots and other mountain climbing paraphernalia, get your hooks into her, and somehow reach the summit. Oh! Be careful! You don’t want to get hurt should you fall…she is not the gentle hill in your neck of the woods that you’re familiar with. She is Mount freaking Everest. Beautiful, yes, but with sharp edges that can hurt…your pride. Your feelings, maybe even your heart.
And so you tell yourself you both will be happy if only she wasn’t so stubborn, or so whatever it is that makes you want to kiss her and kill her at the same time. You plot and scheme up ways to storm the impregnable fortress. You utilize all the weapons in your arsenal: your charm, your sexual prowess, your money, your logic, your wit, your cunning. You are patient, honest, kind. You are frustrated, angry, filled with despair.
That’s why I’m about to tell you the secret to conquer the unconquerable woman. My sisters may see this as me being a traitor, but I feel I must tell you. You were made for each other, and it would be stupid to let this get in the way.
Maybe she is naturally wild. And by wild I don’t mean promiscuous (I can’t help you there, you’d both need to see a therapist/psychologist). By ‘wild’ I mean the naturally carefree spirit that defies any and every restriction which seeks to conform it to standards that don’t align with its true essence.
To ‘tame’ the Mare, you have to break her spirit; the very thing that attracted you to her in the first place.
To conquer Mount Everest, you have to trek the path other Climbers have used on the same quest. Perhaps these other Climbers were irreverent, did not understand or appreciate her sacredness. For you to follow in their footsteps would trigger old hurts and resentment…you may reach the summit, but at what cost? Maybe you’re a Maverick. You will create your own path, but this too may cause damage. In climbing virgin territory, to secure a foothold, you may loosen rocks, displace wildlife that may lead to problems in the future.
The key to conquering the unconquerable woman is to not conquer her at all. To conquer the unconquerable woman you have to allow her to surrender herself to you.
For her to surrender, she has to feel safe; physically, emotionally, sexually and spiritually safe.
For her to feel safe, you have to create a space where she is understood, appreciated and most of all, accepted…flaws and all. It does not mean you cannot or should not voice your opinions, complaints or concerns. It just means that you do so without making her feel she is obligated to change the essence of who she is and what she desires solely to be with you. Though she can give you unlimited pleasure, and you can reciprocate I’m sure (otherwise, I wouldn’t be divulging this secret), you should know that she was not created simply to please you. Like you, she was born into the earth realm to testify to the glory of the Creator, to fulfill her destiny, to learn the lessons she needs to learn in order to evolve to the next level of consciousness…
Maybe both your destinies are tied together, maybe not. One thing is for sure, the quality of your connection with each other will improve once you learn to love her as she needs to be loved – not as you have loved other women.
She is after all, Mount freaking Everest.
Go forth and conquer!
Haneefah is the creative Director of her recently formed internet station Island Beat TV, and host of Owambe Jam, a cultural event to celebrate World Poetry Day.
Web: watch.islandbeattv.com/blog/, www.facebook.com/Owambejam