Last month, we took that first and most daunting step – we challenged our inner critic and now we are slowly realizing that this voice inside of us is not our true voice. Naturally, the next question comes: “Which voice is my true voice then?” and today, in the second step, I will help you answer that. In the end, you will learn about three things you want to pay attention to that will bring you closer to knowing your Self.
Throughout this part, you will notice that the first and the second step are intertwined. There will be a constant battle between your true self and your inner critic. This is what we know and this is what we have learned from a young age. The relationship between your true Self and your inner critic is similar to the relationship between you and your parents – it is complicated, it is necessary and it can always be better (as is every other relationship between two humans and two souls).
The true emotional adulthood starts when we can observe our inner voice and differentiate between what is ours and what is learned. When we can differentiate between what is to be cherished and what is to be questioned.
For Jung, the Self is at the same time the whole and the center of our being. It is the center of our whole personality, not just the conscious one (the Ego). The Self is full of potential, it is unknown as well as all-knowing, and it is so precious that we formed walls of protection around it to keep it from harm. Our Self is often connected to our Inner Child, which is the little you that lays inside of you, the little you that has many hopes and wishes, the little you that had to be taught (by parents, usually) about the world. The thing is – they were often teaching us about surviving in the world, when we wanted to be taught about thriving.
Today’s story about the Self is the story about thriving. Knowing yourself means being in power. Being in power means knowing who you are, knowing what you want and knowing what you need. The three things you need for it are the following:
- Practice listening to your Self. There is always that voice inside of you that clenches when you say yes to something that you didn’t want to say yes to. That part of you that sinks a bit deeper into apathy when you are at a job that you do not think you belong to. An energy loss that you feel when you are trying to fit a circle of people you maybe actually do not want to be a part of.
- When you do listen to your Self, trust your Self. You might want to dismiss this part of yourself. You might want to say this part of yourself is silly, it does not know enough, it is too naïve. That is connected to how you learned to treat your Self and to that inner critic of yours. Remind yourself of who you are.
- Distrusting your Self makes your Self feel smaller and weaker – something it has been feeling from the beginning. Undo it. Be gentle with your Self. Approach it with curiosity, respect and kindness.
Get involved with things and hobbies you are drawn to. Ask a question more to the person you feel strangely comfortable with. Push the limits of what you were taught about the “real world”. By doing so, your Self will open up more and more. It will be louder and clearer and one day, I promise you, you will not be able to imagine a time without this deep knowledge – of knowing your Self.
Once we arrive to that point, we understand that this inner battle that is ongoing between our true Self and our inner critic is the same battle we will have to experience with people in our lives. This is where we need to learn how to protect ourselves. We learn about creating and maintaining boundaries in the next step, next month. Until then, connect to your Self - it is your oldest friend and your truest soul mate. I will be here with you.
Author: Eva Feldman, as a highly empathetic person and a psychologist, she connects her understanding of the human psyche with spirituality, focusing on consciousness and awareness. Her goal is to share knowledge and passion about human beings in a simple and understandable way, and in that way to contribute to raising awareness in this day and age. Masters degree in Psychology, education in Art Expressive Therapy, as well as personal interests of social justice, mindfulness and Being, make for an interesting addition to her practices of dance, yoga and teaching. She found a purpose in living life fully and encouraging others to do so.
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